Bed-sharing with your partner: this is how affects to your sleep
While some studies suggest that bed-sharing reduces stress, others warn that this habit could harm the relationship.
Bed-sharing with your partner is one of the most common gestures of life together. Sharing a bed is usually associated with an act of love, intimacy, and emotional connection. In fact, for many people, sleeping while cuddling is a way to strengthen the emotional bond, and when this contact doesn’t occur, it often leads to a “we need to talk”.
Science has analysed, on several occasions, the habit of bed-sharing. The results suggest that a partner can influence rest and, at the same time, sleep can affect the relationship.
Bed-sharing with your partner: social norm or science?
Sleeping is a fundamental activity for maintaining and improving our health. Rest helps to consolidate memories, detoxify the body, and strengthen the immune system. In fact, we spend a third of our lives sleeping.
Culturally, bed-sharing is seen as a natural gesture of love, intimacy, and complicity. This social view means that when couples choose to sleep apart, it is often perceived as a sign of crisis or lack of love. On the other hand, some studies suggest that sleeping apart can be beneficial in some cases, especially if one person suffers from sleep disorders.
Your chronotype affects the timing of choosing a partner
The circadian rhythm is our biological clock responsible for preparing the body for sleep and regulating sleep-wake cycles. However, it is not the only factor determining sleep schedules. Another key factor is the chronotype, that is, the natural tendency of each person to be more active in the morning or evening. Some people prefer to sleep early and make the most of the morning, while others work better in the later hours of the day.
Even so, couples with different habits are not entirely out of luck. A study by the Sleep Research Society suggests that nighttime routines can mutually influence each other to the point where sleep patterns eventually align.
Bed-sharing improves REM sleep
The main concern when bed-sharing is the quality of sleep. A study led by the Integrative Psychiatry Centre in Germany aimed to determine whether sharing a bed had an overall effect on sleep. The findings highlighted the surprising fact that bed-sharing is indeed beneficial for sleep hygiene.
The researchers compared how participants slept alone versus together. Analysis of the data concluded that bed-sharing helps to synchronise sleep stages and was associated with a 10% increase in REM sleep. During this stage, eye movements occur, memories are consolidated, and emotions stabilised.
Sleep disorders affect relationships
Although bed-sharing stabilises REM sleep, it can also make it easier to wake up during the night. Other studies have observed that sleep disturbances, such as apnoea or snoring, worsen the quality of rest and cause fatigue or headaches during the day.
Moreover, the Sleep Research Society suggests that sleeping in separate beds can be an alternative to improve the quality of sleep for both partners. Especially when one partner has very light sleep or when each person’s sleep schedules differ significantly.
So, is bed-sharing recommended?
There is no standard model of a couple. Over the years, roles and relationships have changed. Long-distance relationships, couples who choose not to have children, others who attend therapy to maintain a healthy relationship, and others who decide to open their bond to third parties.
Therefore, there is no single answer that fully supports or opposes bed-sharing. There are many variables to consider when deciding whether to share or separate beds. The key lies in prioritising your own health and the individual quality of sleep.
